Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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