It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
