no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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