when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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