I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
