Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
smell my finger.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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