Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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