is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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