Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
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