whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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