WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
