woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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