last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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