he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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