Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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