JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
