Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
