In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
