the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
