how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
