Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
