My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
