im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
