yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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