saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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