remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
