im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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