That's intense
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
