Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Randomize
