Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
