I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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