this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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