i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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