It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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