I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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