Don't you send me to vm
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
