As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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