Well douche your snatch and let's go!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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