I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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