In the future we'll all be gay
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
