im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
