Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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