how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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