I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Randomize
