Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
