At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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