on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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