i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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