I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
