We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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