bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
