this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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