out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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