I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize