so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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