just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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