did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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