so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Randomize