I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
