I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
wow bdsm is so cute
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
