i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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