I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
