I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
